Do you have any advice or resources to help me further combat my fatphobia in the context of a new relationship? I want to ‘get over’ the (most-subconscious) thoughts and feelings about my partner being a bit overweight that might undermine the success of our unfolding relationship.
I’m super attracted to him in lots of ways and the chemistry has been good. I feel sexy around him, we flirt and laugh, there’s comfortable and honest communication, I’ve been fantasizing about him, etc.
The issue at hand: I have found myself wishing that he wasn’t overweight. He’s hot and I am falling for him and I want to fully accept him as he is, not with some shitty, judge-y hope that he’ll lose some weight in the near future. I’m trying to be curious about where my fatphobic shaming crap comes from and how I can shift my attitudes. I reeaaaallly don’t want to have negative perceptions about his body size/shape.
Thank you for your courage in asking this question and being willing to do the work around your fatphobia. Awareness and reaching out are great first steps.
Now that you’ve identified this as a problem, you can start to shift your attitude.