Debunking Sex Myths in 50 Shades Darker

Did you see 50 Shades Darker yet? The beau and I were cheesy AF and went on Valentine’s Day. It was better than the first. Which doesn’t say much…

The Good

Ana & Christian’s chemistry was stronger. Christian has scruff – and Jamie should should never be allowed to shave his face again because YUM! Thank you Ana for agreeing.

The cinematography and “plot” were also more engaging which meant I wasn’t checking the time every 10-20 minutes like during the first movie. He goes down on her a lot which HURRAY! The consent pieces were a little better. They at least talked about “what do you want?” AMEN. And that scene where he gets down into a traditional submissive pose for Ana? Fucking gorgeous!

The Bad

BDSM is still portrayed as this evil thing that he needs to rid/cure himself of. It’s not. BDSM is a sexual preference or orientation. It’s healthy and it’s normal as long as it’s consensual. Plus folks who practice it might have better sex lives than those who don’t.

It drives me nuts that when she asks about the spreader bar he doesn’t explain and instead just offers to show her. Dude- EXPLAIN before you try it out. SMH.

Lastly, despite the increased chemistry, the sex scenes were boring. Does he only know variations of missionary and doggy style? And does he ever vary his thrusting? She gets tied up, spanked, and blind folded but like – these are pretty mainstream kinks that a lot of people have played with. They’re not bad but I was expecting more, especially after the first movie.

The Ugly

The sex scenes left me cringing – in pain! Two scenes in particular raised my sex educator hackles: when Ana wears the silver balls and the elevator fingering. Silver balls (aka kegels balls) don’t work like that, and (most) vulvas don’t work like that either!

So in celebration of love, the franchise that made BDSM mainstream, and you having more intimate, exciting, & fulfilling sex, here’s what you need to know about those silver balls, fingering in elevators, and how vulvas actually work.

Products featured/mentioned in this video

(Click on each to get your own)

Kegel Beads

Water-based Lube

Silicone Lube

Your Partner in Passion,

Kait xo