One of the most common questions I hear when I work with women is some version of “Is the female g-spot real?” You’re curious because you’ve heard that a g-spot orgasm is the most amount of amazing. And you want in.
The short answer: yes.
The slightly longer one: it doesn’t really matter.
Orgasms come in all strengths and they’re all wonderful.
Its true that for many people, a g-spot orgasm feels amazing (and super strong). They’re part of the reason doggy style is so popular.
Yet for some people, g-spot stimulation doesn’t do much of anything. You might have spent some time trying to have a g-spot orgasm and ended up stressed or frustrated. Even worse, maybe you found that spot– the one that feels different then the rest of your vagina or when stroked repeatedly makes you feel like you have to pee–but the resulting orgasm was just ok.
Now if you’ve had an amazing g -spot orgasm (or 10) OR you enjoying exploring your g-spot, then keep at it girlfriend! I’m not discounting any of these experiences or advocating you ignore your g-spot.
Rather, categorize orgasms less and enjoy them more.
Here’s what we do know about the female g-spot. There’s an area on the frontal/anterior/belly button side of the vagina that, for many people, feels good when touched.
- Maybe its the g-spot/urethral sponge/erectile tissue.
- Maybe its part of the internal clitoris.
- Maybe its something else.
WHAT it is doesn’t matter.
If playing with your g-spot feels good, keep doing it.
If it doesn’t, stop. If you haven’t felt anything yet but are having a blast playing and exploring, keep on keeping on.
G spot orgasms are still controversial.
The g-spot, or Gräfenberg spot, was “discovered” in the mid-1900s by a German doctor. Fun fact: You can also thank this awesome guy for the IUD.
Dr. G was actually researching urethral stimulation when he found this erotic zone inside the vagina, running along the urethra. Since this discovery, the existence of the G-spot has been highly debated and contested and refuted and disproved and reproved and… well you get it.
Oh and for the record: he didn’t name the G-spot after himself. Researchers did this later to honor him.
The g-spot is more an area than a “spot.”
You’ll notice above that Dr. G described the g-spot as a zone, not a spot. Thinking about it this way makes your life easier (and more pleasurable). Rather than searching for one specific location – x marks the spot and all that – you get to explore and find your spot.
You might find that your g-spot is located just inside your vagina or further in (closer to your cervix). There might be one OMG YES spot or a larger area that needs to be caressed. This is the same as any other body part. For example, the distance between your belly button and the top of your pelvic bone is different than mine.
Everyone’s g-spot likes something different.
Just like the location and layout of everyone’s g-spot zone varies, so too does the type of sensation they enjoy. Some people are so sensitive, they can come simply from doing their Kegel exercises. Others aren’t sensitive at all. You probably fall somewhere in between.
If you want to explore your g-spot more, play around with different types of sensation.
Five ways to have a g-spot orgasm
The easiest way to stimulate your g-spot is with a g-spot toy. These are curved up to stimulate the part of your vagina where you g-zone is.
Whatever tool you use, try out these five different motions.
- Thrust in and out of the vagina. Try to focus on rubbing along that frontal vaginal wall.
- Tapping different spots on that belly-button side of your vagina.
- Massaging. As my friend Kate teaches, use as much pressure as you enjoy when getting a shoulder massage. Yes that much. I (and every other sex educator) recommend the Pure Wand for this.
- Dragging your fingers or a toy along the frontal vaginal wall. Also known as “thrusting while pressing.” The Uma or Gigi are great for this.
- Stroking. Make a come-hither motion with your fingers or use a toy and scoop (just like you would with ice cream).
Play with these until you find the one that works or try them all just because its fun. As you try each one, notice which spot(s) feel the best. Then…rinse and repeat.
One quick note: if you have smaller hands, you might have trouble with some of these or reaching all the areas you want. If you’re totally committed to exploring on your own and struggling with this, toys are great extensions of your hands. Otherwise, ask your sweetie to help you out. Make it a date.
You deserve your orgasm, g-spot or otherwise.
I LOVE orgasms and could care less how you have yours. Soft or strong, clitoral, g-spot, or cervical: they’re all fabulous in their own right. Play around with your g-spot but don’t stress about it too much. When it stops being fun, explore something else. Enjoying sexy time is what really matters, and a g spot orgasm is just one way to go about doing that.