Is Their Penis Too Big? Here’s How to Take a Big Dick

Most cishet men think that there’s no such penis too big. However, google search data shows that more people search for advice on “how to take a big penis” than ask questions about what to do with a one on the smaller side. This isn’t too surprising since vaginas are about 2-4 inches long and about double that (4-8 inches) when you’re turned on. So, we weren’t surprised to receive this question from Vickie:

How do I better manage the fact that my partner has an huge dick? We’re both nervous about it and it’s impacting our sex life.

Bigger isn’t always better

Despite the fact that people with them often worry if their penis is big enough, most partners could care less about size (or want something smaller). In fact, a recent study found that the main thing they care about is a penis’ overall appearance.

Everyone has a different definition of what qualifies as “too big”

It might mean too long or too thick or both.

What’s too big for you might be just right for someone else.

Maybe you like a long penis but it can’t be too thick. Or vice versa.

Fact is: everyone is different in terms of what they like and what feels good and what’s too much. So forget about comparing notes with your bestie(s). If the size of their penis is making sex uncomfortable, it’s too big.

There are things you can do to make sex with a big penis more pleasurable

If your partne is hung like a horse and it’s causing problems, you don’t have to just deal with it. Here are seven ways to make sex with a well-endowed partner more comfortable and fun.

Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay

 Most vulvas need 10-40 minutes to be fully turned on. Being fully turned on includes your vagina getting longer and wider (like mentioned above). Those extra inches are extra important if their penis is too big.

Read more: 11 Tips to Get Turned On Fast

HAve your Orgasm First

When you experience orgasm, your body releases feel-good chemicals. In addition to helping you feel sated, these also relax your muscles including the muscles in and around your vagina. Being more relaxed then makes it easier to take a big penis. Bonus: if you have lots of foreplay, this is much easier and more likely. And yes foreplay can include self-pleasuring before your honey gets home.

Get them Off first

If your beau can get hard relatively quickly after ejaculating, have them come first. The second hard-on is always a little smaller. In fact, if you combine these first three steps, you can both get off before intercourse! Then you’ll more open and he’ll be smaller and it’ll be easier for everyone

Work Up to It

If you know their size is a problem, don’t expect to go straight to penetration. Instead, start smaller, say with one finger or a small vibrator or dildo. Add more fingers (maybe even try fisting!) or use bigger and bigger toys to warm the vagina up. Do this on your own or as part of foreplay. Psst…It’s quite hot for your partner to use a toy on you or watch you use the toy yourself.

Alternatively, you can incorporate vaginal dilators on your own. You want to work up to one that’s slightly larger (longer and/or girthier) than your partner. This will make taking their big penis so much easier.

Choose the right positions

Choose a sex position that either a) lets you control the depth of penetration or b) limits how deep they can go. Spooning or cowgirl are great options. Doggy style and missionary, less so. Need more sex position ideas?

Check out Kinkly’s Sex Position Dictionary.

Make BFFS with Lube

Not only does lube make everything feel better, it also makes the ride smoother. This, in turn, reduces your risk of tears and subsequent irritation and/or infection. Invest in a good lube that doesn’t have glycerin or parabens. Here are some of our top recommendations

Use a buffer

This requires a little DIY project but is a great way for you both to get lots of pleasure. Get yourself a penis buffer. Lube your partner and the sleeve up, slip it on, and VOILA! You no longer have to worry about them going in too far. They still get the feeling of being surrounded by something soft, wet, and warm. Everyone wins. Psst…this is also great for oral sex so it feels like you’re deep throating even if you aren’t.

You can enjoy sex with a big dick

There’s going to be some trial and error. You’re going to have to talk and try new things and figure out what works for you. But with some communication, trust, and sexy exploration, you and your lovah will be well on your way to sexual satisfaction.

23 thoughts on “Is Their Penis Too Big? Here’s How to Take a Big Dick

  1. My boy friend penis Is 8inches long and I enjoy it because I get on top and ride it you have to be in control . And you must have a lot of oral sex!! He licks my clit until I have so many orgasim . Then I sit on it and pentrate. How far I want to go down on it. Then you won’t have a problem.

      1. Great post, Kait! Thanks for sharing! A guy does not need to meet my perfect size in order to make things enjoyabIe. It’s all in how they use the tools they have. A full, hard and strong erection is a rarity nowadays, just start with this. So..happy everyone can get help for this (you can search google for ‘get365vcl’). The longer guys (over 6 inches) can be eager to show me how deep they can get, not thinking I may need more time to accept their length. I have only met one over 7 inches. It took a few times to get him to take his time, and I usually used a large dildo before he arrived just to loosen things up a little more, then had him use it, his fingers and oral before he plunged in.

  2. Great tips – as a male, I’ve had many frustrating situations where women have said that “are bodies just aren’t compatible.” If sex happens early enough in the relationship, before things could get serious, it’s even been a deal-breaker!

    I’ve already learned a few abovementioned tips, and learned to be comfortable being the “guy who brought his own lube.” As for finishing him first – in my case, that would backfire (I deal with delayed ejaculation as well, it often takes me even longer the next time). Since women’s pain from sex tends to be a function of not just size but also TIME (in addition to the factors you mentioned) it’s worth communicating with your partner – I usually ask for foreplay beforehand so I won’t take as long.

  3. Thank you kait for the interesting tips. I am about to engage in a mainly sexual relationship with a man that I actually searched for. I am separated soon to be divorced and I have had several fantasies for quite some time that I want to act on for the most part. One was a to have a purely sexual relationship with a guy that fits the image of my fantasy. He is a big guy, very athletic physique, dark skinned and a very large penis. I know what girl doesn’t have that fantasy. He may be too big, I have never had a large penis before. His is 13 inches long, 8 inches in circumference, and yes, I have seen photos and a video of him and “it” and he and “it” are real. A couple of your suggestions are good when dealing with an exceptionally large man and I will use them. I am concerned about any issues I could have with my vagina should things heat up and I let him bury that big thing in me. I am way too embarrassed to go to my GYN with these questions. If you have any experience and can help me with my concerns I would greatly appreciate it. We are just going to meet casually for a few dates to see how things go so I have a little time. Thank you, Stephanie .

  4. I don’t represent the product or have any interest in the company that makes it, so I’m recommending to anyone with this concern or with an actual identified size mismatch “The Bumper”. You can do a google search, and include also the term “thrust buffer.” It’s basically a big doughnut shape of appropriate adult-toy material. It’s particularly useful for women who don’t like feeling like their longer/larger than average guy partner is banging their cervixes with each thrust. I’ve used it with good results, and my partner enjoyed it.

  5. Oh man, I literally…was laying here this morning my first night after a 7?8? inch and i just am in groupchats asking people how they even take dicks this big regularly? I need an actual recovery period! I’m so sore that going to the bathroom hurts so I’m probably going to have to get to my OBGYN during the week just to make sure I’m only dealing with tears and not anything else. And that was with him going slow most of the time! And with us accidentally figuring out that it was barely manageable with me on top as opposed to every other position where I was just like “…wow, okay, I think this actually is hurting me?!”

    Next time – lube. Rookie mistake to not have any! Next time – also research on what thrust buffers I can find. And prayer lol! Lots of that.

  6. I am 52 and have had an incredible sex life but due to injury and mind numbing meds have been abstinent for 12 years. I recently met a man who well .. Legends are made from. He is incredibly large. Both long and wide and my rather atrophic vagina will not accept this magnificence. He is very sensual and sexual and ensures that I reach orgasm over and over but I can not return the favour with penetration .. other ways definitely but i feel ashamed almost that he can not fit. I feel somewhat better after reading your article and your readers stories .. I have a new sense of encouragement and am excited to try a few of your recommendations that we have not yet explored as the sex part of our relationship is very new.
    Ready to Ride

  7. My boyfriend is over 10″ and very large girth as well. He knows from experience with me how deep he can go without hurting me. We use a sleeve on him and slide it down to his base, that makes him feel totally surrounded and stops him at the right place too when he is inside of me. LOTS of foreplay really does help a lot. Fortunately he loves doing it, so no complaints from either of us.

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