17 Sex Date Ideas for Couples

Two people reclining on the bed, one kneeling over the other with their hand on the other person's chest. They are staring at each other lustily and smiling. | 17 sex date ideas for couples - Sexy Date Ideas | Passion by Kait

You and your honey have been together a while. You know the importance of planning regular date nights to stay connected and maintain a sense of adventure. But there’s only so many times you can #netflixandchill or do dinner and a movie. That’s why I was so happy when LH asked me for sex date ideas for couples. She writes:

Any tips around sex date scheduling and how to keep up the variety (foreplay, games, etc)? Sex + dinner can get a bit monotonous…

Being together for over a decade, my beau & I have run into this many times. We’ve gotten stuck in many sex ruts, sometimes lasting months. We’ve climbed out way out with vulnerable conversation and some creativity. Here are my favorite sexy date ideas for couples.

17 Sex Date Ideas for Couples to Break the Monotony

  1. Alternate who’s in charge of both the planning and the sexy times. This is a fun way to try a new activity you wouldn’t have thought of and to play with power and control. Navigate this mindfully and do your research about roleplaying if needed.
  2. Use a Yes/No/Maybe list for endless inspiration. Sex questionnaires help you discover fantasies that you might want to try. My favorite is Mojo Upgrade because it’s free, online, and low-risk. You only see the fantasies that both of you might both enjoy together.
  3. Create a Pleasure Map of each other’s bodies. Discover all the areas that can turn you on and get you there. Here’s how.
  4. Channel your high school selves. Just make out. Or tops off only. Or undies stay on. Limit how far you go and the anticipation will rev you up.
  5. Have sex in a new place. It can be a new room, new piece of furniture, hotel room, your office – doesn’t matter just christen somewhere new.
  6. Give public sex a try. Open your blinds or get it on in a bar bathroom, a park after dark, the guest room at a family member’s or friend’s house, or the like. The element of risk can heighten your arousal!
    Be cautious though. Respect those in the area you’re in, research laws and potential consequences so that you fully understand them, and take appropriate safety measures.
  7. Change when you have sex. If it’s usually before bed, try morning sex (it’s my favorite way to start the day) or vice versa.
  8. Focus on one sense. Play up your sense of smell with candles – I like this one because it doubles as scented massage oil – room spray, or perfume. Indulge in soft sheets or a satiny (and waterproof) throw blanket, lacey lingerie, or any number of sensation play tools, from feathers to floggers.
  9. Remove a sense. Use this solo or combined with above. By removing one sense, you heighten the others. New to sensory deprivation? Try a silky blindfold or tie, wrist or ankle restraints. More advanced? My friend Mona is the go-to for all kinky things.
  10. Watch porn together. My favorite sites are XConfessions, Lust Cinemas, Spit, and ardent erotica.
  11. Pick out a sex toy together and try it. Here are my top picks for couples.
  12. Let your inner voyeur out. Seek out sensual events and parties in your area. Think: burlesque shows, sex parties and clubs, porn screenings. Not sure how to find them? Google is your friend (open an incognito window if you’re worried about the results popping up again). Your friends are a great resources too. So are “burner”  events like Daybreaker which tends to attract a crowd of people who are sexually open and in the know about sexy events.
  13. Go to or host a sex workshop. Sex and relationship workshops have a bonus sex date built in. Whether you go as a couple or solo, remember to mark some time on your calendar to practice what you learned.
  14. Learn to dance together. Dancing with someone requires you to be touching. The more sensual the dance – think salsa or tango – the more fire the builds. So no this isn’t sex per se but *fans self* oh yes it really is.
  15. Master a new move. OMGYes uses touchable video (yes touchable) to teach you how to pleasure a vulva. It’s beyond cool. There’s nearly a dozen techniques to learn and then practice IRL.
  16. Have sex with your clothes on like you can’t wait to get clothes off before devouring each other. Drop trou, push up the skirt, pull underwear aside and cocks out and have fun.
  17. Masturbate together. Mutual masturbation is one of my sexy secret weapons. No touching each other but dirty talk and kisses are allowed. Instead, enjoy the show and the pleasure that you’re giving yourself.

Use these sex date ideas for couples to go just outside your comfort zone.

Enough to make you blush a little, but not so much that you go into fight, flight, or freeze. Within each idea, there’s a lot of room to play and adapt it to your preferences and lifestyle. In other words: these dates can be as mild or wild as you like.

Alternate boring sex with sexy date ideas.

Boring sex reflects deep intimacy. It’s a beautiful expression of your love. And it’s not enough. Check in regularly with yourself and your beau to see how satisfied you feel. When things feel stuck, stale, or stagnant, throw in one of these sex date ideas for couples to make things more intimate, exciting, and fulfilling.

Have a sex question? Submit it here or book a free Spark Call.

Kait xo

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